As I open my eyes I see it all, yet nothing. Darkness. Infinite
There before me, the universe stretched into the distance. A blanket
of blackness- blacker than mistrust, blacker than hate and desire. The universe
looked back at me unconcerned. It seemed to invite me and repel me, all at
once. It flowed silently and mysterious out before me – dark, impassive and unemotionally.
The darkness was right there in front of me and yet so distant. I couldn’t mentally
accept that what was before me was never ending.
All that the universe betrayed was wave upon wave of silence.
Gradually, as my eyes got use to the blackness. And I could appreciate the
spots coming through. Millions upon millions of specks surrounded me. The sequin-silver
light gleamed and glittered in their heavenly fashion. I was stunned. My eyes
moved in all directions to absorb it. Everything
I once had thought was beautiful become ugly in an instant. And in the
distance, lost in between the constellations of stars, I looked down and found
my home- the shining blue fleck amidst the galaxies.
It was as time stood still. I, John Glenn, broke with awareness.
Every heart and soul, every moment, hope, dream and idea took place on that round
ball of blue. Earth seemed so delicate against
the harshness of the black space. Nothing but one layer protecting all that is breathing.
Felt as if I could break the layer easier than I could break the surface
tension of water and yet it has thrived over the countless years. And this gift
that was given to us, this exquisite gift that held my family, that held
everything man knows was slowly being killed.
As I floated around, bobbing up and down as one would in the
sea, I looked carefully into my helmet of my cocoon and could see my reflection
in the glass. I was swimming in my seventh decade. My eyes were obstructed by
the rolled blinds of my upper eye lids sagging with my milky blue pupils
peeping out from just under. My skin filled with freckles from when my joints
could move with ease and no pain. And I started to smile, with my hanging
checks moving as much as they could, I felt proud of myself to have made it. I had
achieved the impossible. I broke the peace with a small chuckle. And then with
a scream. I saw the universe from a comic perspective, a perspective most will
only see in their dreams.
I looked forward to my destination. The illumined moon before
me was deserted. The little man on the moon was nowhere to be found, only dust
and rocks. I moved forward and put my
feet down on to it and the dust lifted up. There were huge craters around me. I
lifted my flabby arms slowly and stuck the flag I’ve been holding down into the
surface. My first old age home’s flag will forever stay there. Once I’m home I will
look up at it, every night and think about my little adventure.
I took one more look
around me. I looked at all the beauty, the stars and galaxies, Earth, the everlasting
blackness and made my way back to the ship.